ο»ΏLooking for a like-minded community of entrepreneurs with unique work-life balance who are all about lifting each other up? Look no further. Join my Best Life Business Marketing Facebook group to connect with other entrepreneurs AND get free marketing tips!
[00:00:00] All right. Welcome to the Best Life Business Marketing podcast. This is the very first episode. I am your host, Amy-Lynn Denham. And okay, so what are we talking about here? I'm going to just jump right into things. First of all, if you are listening, you need to know this podcast is gonna get raw. It's gonna get real.
I'm not here to give you this ridiculously polished thing where I talk like I am, you know, some AI thingamajigger. I am not. I am a person. You are a person we need to communicate like we're people. And I want to talk to you like we understand each other, on some level. And I'm hoping that you will comment when you find this podcast, wherever you find it, or that you'll jump onto my website, denhammarketing.ca or you will find me on Instagram @denhammarketing.
That's D E N H A M. And yeah, I just really want to connect.
[00:01:00] So what the hell is the purpose of this podcast? Why am I here? What are we talking about and how can this help you? Cause really that's why you're here, right? You're not here just to listen to me, vainly talk and talk and talk because I love the sound of my voice.
Side note. I really don't love the sound of my voice. Though it does sound much better inside my head.
So why are we here?
We're here because a lot of the people that I work with in my work as a marketing strategist, and all the other freaking hats I wear in my business... I have found that very similar things tend to be roadblocks and challenges for people when it comes to their marketing, but also when it comes to their businesses. Oh. And also when it comes to their lives.
[00:02:00] So it's not always just cut and dry. Like here, let me teach you all of this shit about marketing. And you'll be good to go because that's not how life works for most of us. Most people starting a business begin it as a side hustle. They have a full-time job. Or they're raising kids at the same time. Or they're struggling with a chronic illness and trying to find just something they can do to work from home. Or maybe it's a mixture of all of these things. For me, it was definitely a mixture of all of these things.
For me, it was working in retail, even though I had a degree, but, Lord knows, nobody was finding a job around the time that I graduated and I was working in retail. It was killing my body. I didn't know at the time what I was dealing with physically, but I had an illness, basically an illness. I don't know how you want to classify it. I had a condition I was born with that was just compounding and getting worse and worse over the years. Generally, that's normal for what I'm dealing with.
[00:03:00] And on top of it, I wasn't really living in a good life balance, whether that was with work or when I was in school or the fact that I had two young step kids when I was pretty damn young. You know, and life stress on top of that. So all of these things kind of compounded to a place where I'm like, I need to do something different and quickly.
I can't keep working retail. I can't work on my feet all day. It's just not an option for me. And on top of that, you know, I wasn't able to find anything in my field with the limited range I had on my education. You know, I had gone into a bachelor's degree in psychology thinking life was going to unfold in some magical way where I'd be able to go straight through for a PhD, but it just did not happen that way.
[00:04:00] So a bachelor's in psych really didn't go far post-2008 recession. Right? So here I was, and this is the same kind of place that I see a lot of people coming to their businesses from. I have clients who are trying to run multiple businesses. I have clients who have 2, 3, 4 kids at home under the age of five, you know, they're trying to do this with no kids even off in school yet. I have clients who have kids in school. I have many clients, who like, me are neurodivergent and very much living that ADHD lifestyle, where we have a hard time kind of focusing in on one thing or another and forcing ourselves into that box really just is not freaking working. So, we need to find creative solutions to run our businesses and to stay in balance and actually progress toward goals. Right.
So, these are challenges that I think a lot of people face, you know, whether it's that you are struggling with ADHD or you are dealing with a chronic illness, or you're trying to manage all of the things from parenting to another job to running a business and all of these different things that can come into play. Right?
[00:05:00] So, whether you are coming from one of those places, a bunch of those places, or all of those places, I just want to welcome you. To this place. Because this is a safe place for all of us who are struggling. For all of us who need to figure out a balance that works for us. I'm going to tell you right now, before we get into any conversations about anything else. I am not about to have all the answers for you. There is no fucking blueprint. Period.
There are a lot of people out there who have a blueprint for this, or a blueprint for that. And I will admit, I do have like sort of blueprints for, you know, how to set up this in your marketing and, you know, how to create relationship marketing and inbound marketing and all those wonderful things. And those can be very step-by-step.
[00:06:00] But when it comes to actually figuring out how to set up a strategy inside your business - long-term strategies, long-term goals - and to make a step-by-step progress from where you are to where you want to be. It isn't very cut and dry. It isn't super simple for most of us.
And for anybody who hasn't stopped listening already. It's because you are identifying with the other things that have been said here, right? Like you are identifying with having ADHD or, you know, juggling many, many things or just feeling like it's - there's too much. Right? And, and not really knowing what path to take and how to keep that balance.
[00:07:00] So if that is you. Know that there is no blueprint. There is no person who's going to come along with some magical answer in some magical formula, no matter how many masterclasses you attend. No matter how many webinars you go to and how many courses you sign up for, you need to find your path. You need to figure out what your balance is and how to best work it.
And spoiler alert, for most of us that changes over time. It's not just, this is, oh, I figured it out. Like maybe I did a lot of trial and error to get there and I figured it out and I'm chugging along. Eventually your lifestyle is going to change. Something is going to change. It's going to require you to be flexible. And to go through more of that trial and error without giving up on yourself. Without giving up on your business. And to find a new balance that works for you.
So that is where I am coming to you from. As we enter into this journey on this podcast.
[00:08:00] I am also coming to you from the very currently stormy shores of Eastern Passage, Nova Scotia in Canada. And I hope that I have some local people listening in because that would be really cool to connect, but I'm very curious where each and every one of you are from. So, if you are listening, whether you're listening to this pretty soon after it came out or years in the future. I'm talking to you from the past. Whenever you're listening to this, reach out and let me know where you are on this planet, because I think it's pretty cool that we can connect on all those levels.
So today I want to focus on the idea of hustle culture. It is really something that. Hits me deep, deep, deep inside. It's a topic I could talk about for hours, but that's not what we're going to do because that's not going to be helpful to your work-life balance. You don't need to sit here listening to me for literally hours.
[00:09:00] But I do want to talk about this because I think that for those of us who don't live in that very particular linear way it's hurtful to us, you know? It's something that can actually stunt our growth in our business and in our lives, to be quite honest. Um, so let me get you up to speed if you're not familiar with the idea of hustle culture, and by the way, just excuse me. While I adjust myself in my chair here, you might hear chair noises in the middle of my podcasts because I don't sit still very well. And that's fine. That's just who I am. And, like I said, we're showing up here raw and real.
[00:10:00] So hustle, culture. What is it, right? It's basically the idea that we should kind of just always be on, go. That we are going to go to a day job and then come home and we're going to just throw some food down our faces and we're going to grind, right? We're going to sit at our computer and we're going to build our business and we're going to go out and network, and then we're going to do this and do that and listen to a podcast. And. Watch a video and take a course of.
And I don't know when the hell we actually like have a shower or sleep, let alone, you know, exercise, have time to create a healthy meal, spend time with our friends and family, raise our kids, if we have them. You know, all that other shit that's important doesn't really have a lot of space in this idea of just grind, grind, grind, hustle, hustle. Right? And I think that a lot of people put this out there, this idea of like, always on the grind and always hustling and I'm not, first of all, I'm not certain that, you know, everybody who actually is successful in business does this first of all. So let's just keep that in mind.
[00:11:00] I don't think that everybody who is preaching this is actually living it the way that it's coming across. I don't think that it's that intense. However, there are times in places in some people's lives where that's possible. You know, so, fresh out of school, whether that's high school or college, whatever - unattached, no kids, not much responsibility living still with your parents, let's say, so you really don't have to you know, fork out a lot of money every month. Perfect fucking time to hustle.
Great time. Absolutely take full advantage of that. You have that opportunity. That's amazing to have that opportunity. Go for it. You know? Live, eat breathe, sweat, bleed, sleep your business. Everything your business. That's fine. I totally get that. You know?
[00:12:00] Um, empty nester. Retired. Great time to go do that, too. Fresh out of a relationship and just wanting to make that new start. Maybe you have a nest and you can rely on, so you can actually quit your nine to five and go full all in. Or you can still manage to work your nine to five because you have nothing responsibility wise in those off hours, and you have your health in such a way that you're vital and you have this energy and you've got it to give? Good! That's amazing.
You know, there are times and places for the hustle. Not saying it's entirely evil, bad or anything. Where it becomes a problem is when those of us whose lives don't fit into these very particular boxes try to apply it to ourselves. And when we start to feel like we're failing, if we're not doing it. You know, if we're not like, βOh my God, I hit six figures in my first year of business,β or βI've been on Instagram for three months and I have 1 million followers.β
[00:13:00] You know, just because you're not hitting those insane goals at that breakneck pace does not mean in any way that you are failing. It just means that you have a unique work life balance that you need to maintain.
Is there room for improvement? Probably. We all have room for improvement, you know? Are there ways that you can find a better balance? Ways that you can find little pockets of time that you can use in different ways? Certainly. If, by the way, you're looking to find those little pockets of time, there is a book that I absolutely love. It set me on a completely different trajectory in my life.
Read this quite a while ago. Um, it's called Overwhelmed and I believe it's by Brigid Schulte. I hope I am saying her name right. You should be able to find it on Amazon and all those places, you can find things.
[00:14:00] But that book was great and it really helped me see all of the places where there is time. And we're always like, I don't have time. There is time. There are little pockets of time.
She calls it time confetti, which I think is amazing because I freaking love confetti. If you follow me, you may have seen me throw confetti around a few times. I literally keep some on my desk and it is one, to celebrate the tiniest of wins because I really need to do that in my life. And I love to do that for my clients and for everybody I connect with. But then also it's a good reminder of, you know, like those little pockets of time.
Now how you want to use your pockets of time is up to you though, right? It doesn't mean, oh, you, you have all these little pockets of wasted time that you could be using for your business. Sure. I mean, you could, you can use all of them for your business. You could use some of them for your business.
[00:15:00] You could use some of them for meditating. I mean, that is really what I started doing. Like, oh man, when I am sitting in a doctor's office, I could, like, do that. You know, I could meditate or I can find time to stretch. I can find time to go for a walk.
I can - all these little things, just rearranging certain things. I could even add my pockets of time together to make a larger pocket - a purse, if you will, of time.
And then I'm like, oh, now look what I can do with this time. Read that book. It's great. I make no money from saying this. I just really liked it.
Um, yeah, so there - there are ways that we can improve our ability to focus on our business or focus on our health or focus on our family or whatever it is that needs more of our attention. But we don't necessarily need to stuff ourselves inside of a very restrictive box that tells us we must be going at a breakneck pace and we must be giving everything we have to our business, or it means we're failing.
[00:16:00] So I want to talk a little bit more about this - this mentality, right?
And what can we do about it?
All right. So I talked about the hustle culture recently on my blog. I believe that was back in December. I say this, like, you're not going to hear me typing while I look it up on my own website. But, you know, honesty.
But I did talk about it and I want to bring up the post as I am talking to you about it further right here, because I want to make sure that I don't leave out anything that I thought was important.
So my apologies, if you hear me with my clickety clicking. Mostly when I was talking about it on my blog, I was looking at how it affects mompreneurs. Um, which is mom entrepreneurs. As a step-mom I was building my business with two young step-kids and, they were -
[00:17:00] I'm trying to think of like, when this was that I was initially building my first business, not going in depth on how that happened, but we'll probably talk about that later. But I'm going to say they were between the ages of like eight and 13, let's say, when I was really hard building this business. And I was like straight up trying to do this while I am at hockey games while I'm at gymnastics. Well, I am like, and this is not me doing these things right, I'm watching, I'm supporting. And I'm working, you know? Trying to stuff it into all the little pockets of time I could find. And working full-time at another job. Right? So I've been there doing all those things, trying to keep up and dealing with health issues and feeling like, oh my God, like, I'm freaking dying. I think.
It's a lot.
[00:18:00] And then dealing with this feeling of like, not doing well enough as a parent, because I'm not completely present and then not doing well enough as a business owner, because I'm just not hitting those goals the way I'm seeing other people around me hit them.
So the blog post is really focused on mompreneurs, but I feel like this really applies to all of us. And the more that I talked to people, once I put this post out there on social media and stuff, it was coming back to me that like, βI deal with that too.β Whether they were mompreneurs or not. I am talking to people of all ages, all lifestyles. And it's just like, wow, is this ever a huge thing?
So what were the five things? Cause there were five things that I suggested. That have helped me. That can help other people as they're trying to break out of this hustle mentality. And so what are the five things let's look at them.
[00:19:00] So number one, let go of the idea that it has to be done a certain way. I'm going to say that again. Cause I want to make sure that you hear that one.
Are you listening? Let go of the idea that it has to be done a certain way.
Businesses are built in all sorts of ways. Everything can be built in any sort of a way. It's not always that linear path, right? If you figure out what works for you, you will build it.
If you love it, it will happen. You nurture it, it will grow.
It just might not grow at the pace you're hoping it grows at. It may not grow at a pace somebody told you it should grow at, and it's not going to grow at the pace of the person next to you. And that's okay.
[00:20:00] I recently joined. A course to help me in my business. And I watched some people just blast through that course. And then I watched other people give up entirely. And I was somewhere in that middle range, right?
I connected with a bunch of other women who were in this course who - shout out to them. You are my pod squad and you are amazing. I love you all. And I cannot wait to see the amazing things that you do.
I connected with these women and we talked about it and we were all like, yeah, you know what? We are all coming at this from different places. Some of us were entirely ready to just chow down on this course and build our businesses at breakneck speed.
Okay. Maybe, maybe not those of us in our - in my pod squad. We were more of the, Hey, I have some other things I need to focus on first, reprioritize come back to this later kind of people. And there were people who had, you know, an entire staff and they were able to just delegate and like, Ooh, look at them go.
[00:21:00] But if you didn't know, they had a staff and you're just comparing, like, if I was comparing myself to them, I'd be like, βWow, I am failing.β Right?
But that's not true.
And what was really amazing was to see how many people in this course that I took, right? How many people were different ages. So, I see people who are, you know, 60 plus coming into this, opening a business for the very first time and like, damn, do I want to celebrate the hell out of that! You know?
And then we have people who are much younger than me. And people who are my age. And each of these people is at a different place in their business. But they're building something similar and they're coming at it from a different angle. And that's okay. You know, like it's okay if you came into - so the course I'm taking is about building courses. Oddly enough. And some people were building a course because they already had a business and they just wanted something to compliment it.
[00:22:00] So they had 20 years of experience and, uh, clientele and things that they could bring into this. Other people were building a business based on this course, which is kind of a lot closer to where I am. I do have some clients, but where it comes for my course coming into things, it's less for the clients I already have and more for the people who can't afford to hire me to actually do their marketing for them. So that's a whole new area of business for me, right?
That requires building. And that's okay.
So these are the kinds of things I'm saying where it's like, it doesn't need to be done a certain way. It just needs to be done the way that works for you. And that might take some trial and error.
All right. I'm going to skip ahead to number two, because I could get stuck on this one for a while.
So number two, cause there's five of these things and we don't want to be here all day.
[00:23:00] Number two: Unfollow accounts that make you feel like you are not measuring up. Now. That's kind of a sticky one. Do you have to unfollow everyone? No. Maybe you just need to take a break from actually looking at your social media, but the algorithms disagree. They want you on there commenting.
But you can choose to unfollow people like it's. Okay. It's totally. Okay. I'm just going to say that one more time. It is okay.
Unfollow, the ones that don't make you feel good. If they're constantly just like, go, go, go, you know, you must be doing this and you have to be that. And if, and I'm going to do this and you're going to do that, and I don't even know how to - I wish I'd have brought some up.
I'm like, I should have totally brought some of these examples up on my feed because I see them so often - of just like hustle grind. Uh, you know, you, you're going to be the one that like I disappeared for a year and I came back and I owned the world kind of a thing. And it's like, and you're going, βoh man, like I didn't do that.β
You know, so if you're finding that as you're going through, you're consistently feeling shitty when you're reading something, maybe it's time to unfollow that account. I'm just throwing that out there.
All right. Number three. Adjust your goals to make room for slow growth. I'm going to read what I wrote in my thing. Cause it's kind of funny to me.
If you've decided that you need to slow down, it's time to look at your goals. What's the timetable you have set for them? Is it realistic to achieve those goals in that timeframe and make space for yourself and your life?
Okay. That part's not the funny part. That's the truth part, you know? Well, the funny part is true too.
[00:25:00] But like seriously, if, if you realize that you're burning out and you need to slow down, it might be time to look at like, are these goals realistic to me, if I want to maintain a work-life balance? Are these goals realistic to me if I want to maintain my health? Do I need to change my timeline?
And sometimes that's hard. And sometimes that hurts. You know? And sometimes that's humbling.
For me, that's been very humbling recently. I was like, I'm going to build this course. And this course is going to be ready at the beginning of 2024. And then I was like, maybe, maybe spring.
And the more that I'm looking at, my work-life balance and a current health struggle that I'm dealing with. I'm like, βDude, I'm just taking a timeline off it entirely. If I can get this done by autumn, that's amazing.β
Have I told people about the course already? Yes. I'm clearly talking to you about it right now.
Have some people been very excited and kind of want to buy it now and do it now? Yes. Do I feel really shitty that I can't give that to them? Yeah. Kind of no lie. I'm not going to be like, βOh, I'm just, like, so evolved that I feel totally okay with this.
[00:26:00] Like, no, I feel kind of shitty about that cause I got them excited, but the truth is. The truth is. You know? I can't change. How I'm dealing. You know? I can't change the fact that this is a little too much, a little too fast. All I can do is change how I react to it so that I don't burn myself out and get too sick to work at all.
You know what I'm saying? Cause like, if I'm too sick to work at all, what is the point? I'm not going to be able to give the course ever if I am unable to maintain this pace.
So, that is a little bit of the βadjusting your goal is to make room for slow growth,β but here's the part where I kind of found it funny. And gave an example. And this is like a quote from my blog.
[00:27:00] βI know that if I strap myself into my office chair, live on caffeine and sleep three hours a night, I can crank out a course I've been working on in less than a month. But what I be doing myself any favors? Would I be serving my clients? Would I end up burnt out and sick and need three months off to recover and the lose contracts? You bet. So I've adjusted my ridiculous timeframe from one month to eight months.β
And since writing that a little further beyond, and that's funny to me because it's like, why did I think that I would need to strap myself into an office chair and live on caffeine and sleep for three hours a night?
Like, why is that so deeply ingrained in me to do? Is that ingrained in you? I legitimately want to know. Is this a thought you have of like, βI need to just - everybody goes to sleep and I go to my desk and I just work, but I still get up at the same time as everyone.β You know, like, is this a thing? I know that there's a couple of my clients who, this is a thing. So let's adjust this and maybe be a little kinder to ourselves.
[00:28:00] Okay number four in breaking free from the hustle mentality. If it is not serving you, is to commit to slowing down by blocking off time for you. I'm going to say that again. Commit to slowing down by blocking off time for you.
Note that I did not say blocking off time for your business. I said, blocking off time for you.
You are not your business. Can we just make a second to remember that? Because a lot of people are like, βOh, I had, anytime this week I worked on my business.β And that's great because your business serves you in a sense. It fuels you. You're excited. It's your passion. This is wonderful, but you still need you time.
So while you are figuring out how to balance work and life, don't forget self, you know?
One of the best ways that I have found to actually, like, commit to this cause I'm like, yeah, I'm going to prioritize me.
[00:29:00] Yeah, I put it like on my to-do list every day and it never happened. But I have found actually legitimately blocking off time has been super important.
Sometimes as blocking off time. For a date night with my husband, you know? Sometimes that's blocking off time specifically for my family. So if it's like, Hey, you know, we're having this event. I will be like, okay, make sure that I make space in my calendar for this so that I am not feeling like I need to be working while attending this event. Or feel like I shouldn't attend the event at all, you know?
Because after time - and I did that, I was that person and that added up and I missed a lot and I do wish I could go back and change that. You know, βLive with no regrets,β but. We're all human. We have to have some regrets because if we didn't have like, maybe just a little bit, how would we ever be able to change for the better, you know?
[00:30:00] I did the best I could with what I had, but if I could change it, I honestly would.
So, blocking off time for these sorts of things and putting it in your calendar, whether it is like, no, I am not going to get up and walk straight to my desk and sit down, which is also something Iβm very guilty. Like, I'm going to take an hour in the morning.
I'm going to eat my breakfast. I'm going to have my coffee. I'm going to stretch or go for a little walk. Whatever it might be for you. That's my kind of routine - but whatever it might be for you and wherever your day, that might be. I also try to block off a little time in the afternoon, for myself, because I know my health needs a gap between work and then all the work that we do at home, you know, like making dinners and stuff.
So whatever it is that you need commit to slowing down by blocking off time for you.
And then number five, and this is my favorite.
[00:31:00] Number five is to find a like minded community. Find people who get it. Find people who understand that life can be complicated. Who understand that business can be complicated. Who understand that finding a work-life balance and a business life balance and all of these things, can be a unique situation for a particular person. And who are ready to be there to help lift you up and support you when you are feeling that struggle; when you are feeling that pressure. And when you were feeling like failing, when you feeling like you want to give up.
But then also who are there to freaking celebrate you. When you are feeling like you succeeded, when you were feeling like you accomplished something, and when you want to show it from the rooftops, just how excited you are about the business you're building.
[00:32:00] One of those communities. Yep. I'm going to plug something here. One of those communities is my Best Life Business Marketing Facebook group. Wow. Is that a mouthful? Should have named it something shorter. But anyway.
I am going to do my best to put some sort of a link to that in the show notes, but I'm not sure quite how the show notes are going to work everywhere that you're seeing this.
So. If you need to find it some other way, you can go to facebook.com/groups/bestlifebusinesmarketing. No fancy things, no hyphens, no dots, no nothing. Just facebook.com/groups/bestlifebusinessmarketing. And you can hang out with us there because trust me, we have a lot of freaking fun.
[00:33:00] Thank you for joining me on this very first episode of the best life business marketing podcast. And I sincerely hope to see you again soon.
